"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"

Time, People, America, First

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"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"

Exlpore more Time quotes

"Singing connected with movements and action is a much more ancient, and, at the same time, more complex phenomenon than is a simple song."

Zoltan Kodaly, Hungarian Composer

Time, Action, Singing, Song

"Oh, yes. I knew I was weird by the time I was four. I knew I wasn't like other boys. I knew I was more fearful. I didn't like the rough and tumble most boys were into. I knew I was a sissy."

Robert Crumb, American Artist

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"It was always me and the other guy. I came in second for a long time."

Joel Gretsch, American Actor

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"Time management is a big part of the director's job."

Debbie Allen, American Actress

Time, Management, Job

"To convince oneself that one has the right to live decently takes time."

Evita Peron, Argentinian Statesman

Time, Right

"For a long time now I have tried simply to write the best I can. Sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can."

Ernest Hemingway, American Novelist

Time, Luck, Now

"Because I came out as a singer, I took the time to get an acting coach."

Aaliyah, American Musician

Time, Acting, Coach

"In time of difficulties, we must not lose sight of our achievements."

Mao Tse Tung, Chinese Leader

Time, Difficulties, Sight

"Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children."

Bill Hicks, American Comedian

Time, Children, Job

"The passage of time is simply an illusion created by our brains."

Julian Barbour, British Scientist

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Explore more quotes by Jay Leno

"Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers."

People

"If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology."

God

"Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner."

Hope

"More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy - he's one of their own."

Action

"Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors."

Actor

"If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet."

Want

"According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it."

Money

"You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a Bitch."

War

"The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets."

Crime

"Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!"

Men