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"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"
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"Life is a bubble in the ocean of time. At the same time, it can hold all the water of the ocean in her heart."
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Personal Development
"Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."
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Personal Development
"The value of time is immeasurable."
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Personal Development
"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever."
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Personal Development
"Worrying about what happened on Monday, or, what might happen on Wednesday, is at the expense of one's Tuesday."
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Personal Development
"No time for better words, no time to unsay anything.-Til We Have Faces."
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Personal Development
"Don't equate effective living to being busy."
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Personal Development
"People wish to learn to swim and at the same time to keep one foot on the ground."
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Personal Development
"Today is a gift. Today is all I have. I be fully awake in today."
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Personal Development
"Time passes..and a billion lives are affected in ways we'll never know."
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Personal Development
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"The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most."
People
"Politics is just show business for ugly people."
Business
"More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy - he's one of their own."
Action
"The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up."
Crime
"The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets."
Crime
"Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors."
Actor
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
Men
"Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day."
Father
"For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!"
Time
"You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a Bitch."
War
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