"When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer "Present" or "Not guilty.""

Humor, Senate, Senators

47

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer "Present" or "Not guilty.""

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"He smiles, and he's made of trouble. We should have dropped him in the Thames in a bag of stones. We should have left him out for the fairies."

Rainbow Rowell, American Author

Humor, Danger, Trouble, Judgment

"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."

Sarah Dessen, American Author

Humor, Knowledge, Curiosity, Learning

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Regret

"The fun we'll have tonight is called figging."

Cherise Sinclair, American Author

Humor, Anticipation, Adventure, Secrecy

"Wit is the only wall between us and the dark."

Mark Van Doren, American Poet

Humor, Wit

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

Abraham Lincoln, American Politician

Humor, Coffee, Tea, President

"I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality."

Amber Tamblyn, American Actress

Humor, Religion, God, Sense

"I just meant maybe you could set here and drink one of em with me.He squinted at her. You ever notice how women have trouble takin no for a answer? I think itstarts about age three.What about men?They get used to it. They better."

Cormac McCarthy, American Writer

Humor, Women, Men, Aging, Experience

"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Man, Sense, Will

"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Adultery, Christ, Cruelty, Divorce

Explore more quotes by Theodore Roosevelt

"I would rather go out of politics having the feeling that I had done what was right than stay in with the approval of all men, knowing in my heart that I have acted as I ought not to."

Politics

"You would be much amused with the animals round the ranch."

Observation

"I was glad to hear that you were to be confirmed."

Life

"The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his own weight."

Life

"Probably the greatest harm done by vast wealth is the harm that we of moderate means do ourselves when we let the vices of envy and hatred enter deep into our own natures."

Wisdom

"Most of the men had simple souls. They could relate facts, but they said very little about what they dimly felt."

Behavior

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood who strives valiantly who errs and comes short again and again who knows the great enthusiasms the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy cause who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

Motivation

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."

Motivation

"Courage is not having the strength to go on, it is going on when you don't have the strength."

Motivation

"Believe that you can and you are halfway there."

Motivation