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"Men are only as loyal as their options."
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"He was a god, such as men might be, if men were gods."

"Fishes live in the sea, as men do a-land; the great ones eat up the little ones."

"Men don't get smarter when they grow older. They just lose their hair."

"Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one's mind."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher

"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."

"Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?"

"Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'"

"When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain."

"Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool."

"This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air."

"We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."
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