"They've given Harry the attributes of pistachio nuts and crack cocaine without the health risks (opening thousands of pistachio nuts can cause severe thumb-bruising, I can tell you from bitter experience of my life on the edge)."

Humor, Experience, Health, Addiction, Life

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"They've given Harry the attributes of pistachio nuts and crack cocaine without the health risks (opening thousands of pistachio nuts can cause severe thumb-bruising, I can tell you from bitter experience of my life on the edge)."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"He smiles, and he's made of trouble. We should have dropped him in the Thames in a bag of stones. We should have left him out for the fairies."

Rainbow Rowell, American Author

Humor, Danger, Trouble, Judgment

"I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it."

Frank Howard Clark, American Writer

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"Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him."

Dick Van Dyke, American Actor

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"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."

Sarah Dessen, American Author

Humor, Knowledge, Curiosity, Learning

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Regret

"The fun we'll have tonight is called figging."

Cherise Sinclair, American Author

Humor, Anticipation, Adventure, Secrecy

"Wit is the only wall between us and the dark."

Mark Van Doren, American Poet

Humor, Wit

"If I am not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there."

Martin Luther, German Leader

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"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

Abraham Lincoln, American Politician

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"I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality."

Amber Tamblyn, American Actress

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Explore more quotes by David Mitchell

"Belief, like fear or love, is a force to be understood as we understand the theory of relativity and principals of uncertainty. Phenomena that determine the course of our lives. Yesterday, my life was headed in one direction. Today, it is headed in another. Yesterday, I believe I would never have done what I did today. These forces that often remake time and space, that can shape and alter who weimagine ourselves to be, begin long before we are born and continue after we perish. Our lives and our choices, like quantum trajectories, are understood moment to moment. That each point of intersection, each encounter, suggest a new potential direction. Proposition, I have fallen in love with Luisa Rey. Is this possible? I just met her and yet, I feel like something important has happened to me."

Philosophy

"In March of 1915, all three of Lord and Lady Chetwynd-Pitt's sons'd been gassed, blown up or machine-gunned in the very same week at the battle of Neuve-Chapelle. All three. Imagine that: On Monday, you've got three sons, by Friday you've got none. Lady Albertina had just, y'know, caved in. Physically, mentally, spiritually, brutally."

History

"Laughter is an anarchic blasphemy. Tyrants are wise to fear it."

Freedom

"One's ribs shouldn't be prison bars."

Freedom

"But, Henry, this is wicked!' But, Adam, the world is wicked. Maoris prey on Moriori, Whites prey on darker-hued cousins, fleas prey on mice, cats prey on rats, Christians on infidels, first mates on cabin boys, Death on the Living. 'The weak are meat, the strong do eat."

Reality

"Dreams are shores where the ocean of spirit meets the land of matter. Dreams are beaches where the yet-to-be, the once-were, the will-never-be may walk awhile with the still are."

Dreams

"The empowered may serve justice, remodel the Earth, transform lush nations into smoking battlefields, and bring down skyscrapers, but power itself is amoral."

Power

"Sometimes language can't even read the music of meaning."

Communication

"Such narrative arcs make good movies but shitty existences."

Life

"Always, it is the poor people who pay. And always, it is the poor people's women who pay the most."

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