top of page
Quote_1.png
David Mitchell

"They've given Harry the attributes of pistachio nuts and crack cocaine without the health risks (opening thousands of pistachio nuts can cause severe thumb-bruising, I can tell you from bitter experience of my life on the edge)."

Standard 
 Customized
"They've given Harry the attributes of pistachio nuts and crack cocaine without the health risks (opening thousands of pistachio nuts can cause severe thumb-bruising, I can tell you from bitter experience of my life on the edge)."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Explore more quotes by David Mitchell

Quote_1.png
David Mitchell
"The body is the outermost layer of the mind."
Quote_1.png
David Mitchell
"All the supernatural yarns need a realist explanation and a supernatural one."
Quote_1.png
David Mitchell
"The first of 'Goose's Two Laws of Survival.' It runs thus, 'The weak are meat the strong do eat.' ... Henry grinned in the dark & cleared his throat. "The second law of survival states that there is no second law. Eat or be eaten. That's it."
Quote_1.png
David Mitchell
"Always, it is the poor people who pay. And always, it is the poor people's women who pay the most."
Quote_1.png
David Mitchell
"The Future, says Ian, in a film-trailer voice. "Coming soon, to a Present near you."
Quote_1.png
David Mitchell
"A sprinkle of last-minute despair gives a soul an agreeably earthy aftertaste."
Quote_1.png
David Mitchell
"Strip back the beliefs pasted on by governesses, schools, and states, you find indelible truths at one's core."
Quote_1.png
David Mitchell
"I watched the stars and thought of other lives."
Quote_1.png
David Mitchell
"Hey, metaphysics seminar is on the roof. Just take the elevator up and keep walking until you hit the sidewalk. Anything is true if enough people believe it."
Quote_1.png
David Mitchell
"Try this for deviancy: fabricants are mirrors held up to purebloods' conscience; what purebloods see reflected there sickens them. So they blame you for holding the mirror."I hid my shock by asking when purebloods might blame themselves.Mephi replied, "History suggests, not until they are made to."
bottom of page