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David Mitchell

"They've given Harry the attributes of pistachio nuts and crack cocaine without the health risks (opening thousands of pistachio nuts can cause severe thumb-bruising, I can tell you from bitter experience of my life on the edge)."

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"They've given Harry the attributes of pistachio nuts and crack cocaine without the health risks (opening thousands of pistachio nuts can cause severe thumb-bruising, I can tell you from bitter experience of my life on the edge)."

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Amber Hurdle

"He smiles, and he's made of trouble. We should have dropped him in the Thames in a bag of stones. We should have left him out for the fairies."

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Amber Hurdle

"I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it."

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Amber Hurdle

"Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him."

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Amber Hurdle

"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."

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Amber Hurdle

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

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Amber Hurdle

"The fun we'll have tonight is called figging."

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Amber Hurdle

"Wit is the only wall between us and the dark."

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Amber Hurdle

"If I am not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there."

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Amber Hurdle

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

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Amber Hurdle

"I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality."

Explore more quotes by David Mitchell

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David Mitchell
"Belief, like fear or love, is a force to be understood as we understand the theory of relativity and principals of uncertainty. Phenomena that determine the course of our lives. Yesterday, my life was headed in one direction. Today, it is headed in another. Yesterday, I believe I would never have done what I did today. These forces that often remake time and space, that can shape and alter who weimagine ourselves to be, begin long before we are born and continue after we perish. Our lives and our choices, like quantum trajectories, are understood moment to moment. That each point of intersection, each encounter, suggest a new potential direction. Proposition, I have fallen in love with Luisa Rey. Is this possible? I just met her and yet, I feel like something important has happened to me."
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David Mitchell
"In March of 1915, all three of Lord and Lady Chetwynd-Pitt's sons'd been gassed, blown up or machine-gunned in the very same week at the battle of Neuve-Chapelle. All three. Imagine that: On Monday, you've got three sons, by Friday you've got none. Lady Albertina had just, y'know, caved in. Physically, mentally, spiritually, brutally."
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David Mitchell
"Laughter is an anarchic blasphemy. Tyrants are wise to fear it."
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David Mitchell
"One's ribs shouldn't be prison bars."
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David Mitchell
"But, Henry, this is wicked!' But, Adam, the world is wicked. Maoris prey on Moriori, Whites prey on darker-hued cousins, fleas prey on mice, cats prey on rats, Christians on infidels, first mates on cabin boys, Death on the Living. 'The weak are meat, the strong do eat."
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David Mitchell
"Dreams are shores where the ocean of spirit meets the land of matter. Dreams are beaches where the yet-to-be, the once-were, the will-never-be may walk awhile with the still are."
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David Mitchell
"The empowered may serve justice, remodel the Earth, transform lush nations into smoking battlefields, and bring down skyscrapers, but power itself is amoral."
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David Mitchell
"Sometimes language can't even read the music of meaning."
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David Mitchell
"Such narrative arcs make good movies but shitty existences."
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David Mitchell
"Always, it is the poor people who pay. And always, it is the poor people's women who pay the most."
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