"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."

Woman, Women, Football, Play, Public

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"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."

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"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children."

Work, Advice, Children

"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."

Anger, Business, Kitchen, Sound

"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."

Woman, Women, Football, Play, Public

"Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."

Age, Old

"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."

Blood, Old

"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."

Baseball, Kids

"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."

Reason,

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"Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor. Which is one very strong argument in favor of matrimony."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Woman, Women, Argument, Being, Matrimony

"It sometimes happens that a woman is handsomer at twenty-nine than she was ten years before."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Woman, Years

"There are few virtuous women who are not bored with their trade."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French Writer

Woman, Women, Trade

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Woman, Women, Man, Mothers, Tragedy

"The faces of most American women over thirty are relief maps of petulant and bewildered unhappiness."

F. Scott Fitzgerald, American Author

Woman, Women, Faces, Unhappiness

"I'm always rather nervous about how you talk about women who are active in politics, whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians."

John F. Kennedy, American President

Woman, Women, Politics, Politicians, Talk

"We say that slavery has vanished from European civilization, but this is not true. Slavery still exists, but now it applies only to women and its name is prostitution."

Victor Hugo, French Author

Woman, Women, Civilization, Name, Now

"Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked."

Ovid, Roman Poet

Woman, Women, Women

"I hate women because they always know where things are."

Voltaire, French Writer

Woman, Women, Hate

"Alas, I am a woman friendless, hopeless!"

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Woman,

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Explore more quotes by Phyllis Diller

"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children."

"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."

"A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once."

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

"My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me."

"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."

"Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."

"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."

"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."

"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."

Exlpore more Woman quotes

"Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor. Which is one very strong argument in favor of matrimony."

"It sometimes happens that a woman is handsomer at twenty-nine than she was ten years before."

"There are few virtuous women who are not bored with their trade."

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."

"The faces of most American women over thirty are relief maps of petulant and bewildered unhappiness."

"I'm always rather nervous about how you talk about women who are active in politics, whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians."

"We say that slavery has vanished from European civilization, but this is not true. Slavery still exists, but now it applies only to women and its name is prostitution."

"Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked."

"I hate women because they always know where things are."

"Alas, I am a woman friendless, hopeless!"