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"I grew up in the world of bad television, on my dad's sets and then as a young schmuck on dating shows and so on."
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"We had two rules growing up in my house: If you're going to take a shower, do it with whomever you're dating so you don't waste water; and if you buy one for yourself, buy six, because everybody's going to want one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My wife and I have been together since 1986. I graduated in '86 and she graduated in '88. We began dating when she was 17. Actually she turned 18 when we started kissing and stuff."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Courting is an activity where a man and a woman flaunt their virtues. Dating is an activity where life exposes the other's vices."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I don't understand the whole dating thing. I know right off the bat if I'm interested in someone, and I don't want them to waste their money on me and take me out to eat if I know I'm not interested in that person."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I wouldn't tell you anything about anybody I cared about because it becomes entertainment for other people, and it sort of just cheapens everything in your life. I would never tell you if I was dating anybody."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I've been in plenty of situations where someone I'm dating had more time for a console than me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"After a number of years dating, we decided we were good partners."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I prefer ordinary girls - you know, college students, waitresses, that sort of thing. Most of the girls I go out with are just good friends. Just because I go out to the cinema with a girl, it doesn't mean we are dating."
Author Name
Personal Development
"People say, 'Just say who you're dating. Then people will stop being so ravenous about it.' It's like, No they won't! They'll ask for specifics."
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Personal Development
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"But I'm kind of comfortable with getting older because it's better than the other option, which is being dead. So I'll take getting older."
Being
"It's incredibly unfair. You don't see a lot of 60-year-old women with 20-year-old men onscreen."
Men
"You make a lot of films, do you? You make a lot of films yourself? Yeah, I'd like to see you make a film first before you get to talk about it. What a jerk."
Film
"There's no connection between al-Qaeda and Iraq."
Connection
"America can't beat anyone anymore."
America
"After doing One Fine Day and playing a pediatrician on ER, I'll never have kids. I'm going to have a vasectomy."
Day
"I'm certainly the last person to give advice on, well, anything."
Advice
"The government itself is running exactly like the Sopranos and they sit back and they make deals. And they say okay, 'I'm going do this: France, you're getting the pipelines.'"
Government
"You have only a short period of time in your life to make your mark, and I'm there now."
Life
"The hardest thing is trying not to correct everything on the Internet. It'd be night and day - wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. So you just have to say, 'All right, I'll take it, bring it on.'"
Day
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