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Abe Lemons

"The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off."

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"The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off."

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"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

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"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

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"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

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"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

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Amber Hurdle

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

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"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

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"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

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Amber Hurdle

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

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Amber Hurdle

"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."

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"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."

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Abe Lemons
"You know what they call the fellow who finishes last in his medical school graduating class? They call him 'Doctor.'"
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Abe Lemons
"I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick."
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Abe Lemons
"Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor."
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Abe Lemons
"One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good."
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Abe Lemons
"The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off."
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