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"Home, I think. But it's nowhere I can go back to."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development

"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
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Personal Development
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"All you have to do, I tell myself, is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard."
Humor

"Things that are falling apart encourage me: whatever else, I'm in better shape than they are."
Positivity

"I shouldn't have taken a vow of silence, I told myself. What did I want? Nothing much. Just a memorial. But what is a memorial, when you come right down to it, but a commemoration of wounds endured? Endured, and resented. Without memory, there can be no revenge."
Memory

"War is what happens when language fails."
War

"The internet is 95 percent porn and spam."
Emotion

"In my dreams of this city I am always lost."
Emotion

"The beginning of Canadian cultural nationalism was not 'Am I really that oppressed?' but 'Am I really that boring?'"
Beginning

"You need a certain amount of nerve to be a writer."
Writing

"We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly."
Leadership

"Myths can't be translated as they did in their ancient soil. We can only find our own meaning in our own time."
Time
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