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P. G. Wodehouse

"He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more."

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"He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more."

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"Most if not all sexually active people do not really love having sex, they merely love experiencing an orgasm every now and then."

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". . . confirmed libertines don't reform until they're tired . . ."

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"People have a natural tendency to anthropomorphize their pets, to ascribe human perceptions and intentions to the animal where none exist."

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"Consider how others may feel about you before, during, and after talking. Are you projecting an attitude that results in others feeling accepted and welcome? Are you encouraging people to speak and engage with you through your approachability?"

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"Timid people always reek their peevishness on the gentle."

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"Rather than the one who gets angry, the world is more afraid of the one who does not get angry. Why? When anger ceases, grandeur of authority (pratap) arises. Such is the law of nature. Otherwise there would never be any protection for those who don't get angry. Anger provides protection during one's conduct in ignorance of the self."

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"A man in drink can be like a ravening wolf."

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"Criminal' pompousness will not do, 'civil' pompousness is acceptable."

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"And she did what nobody thought of doing... she consulted Anne."

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"Man is now a horror to God and himself and a creature ill-adapted to the universe not because God made him so but because he has made himself so by the abuse of his free will."

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"He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say "when!""
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"Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels."
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"It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them."
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"Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting."
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"There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine."
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"Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed."
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"I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose."
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"Suiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the soul?''Oh, rather!''What do you do about it?''I generally take a couple of cocktails."
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"When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon."
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"It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time."
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