"Lady Constance's lips tightened, and a moment passed during which it seemed always a fifty-fifty chance that a handsome silver ink-pot would fly through the air in the direction of her brother's head."

Humor, Observation, Chance, Social

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"Lady Constance's lips tightened, and a moment passed during which it seemed always a fifty-fifty chance that a handsome silver ink-pot would fly through the air in the direction of her brother's head."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'"

Doug Coupland, Canadian Author

Humor, Clocks, Future, Right

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

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"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

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"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

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"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

Jonathan Swift, Irish Writer

Humor, First, Fool, Kissing, Wonder

"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane."

Robert Frost, American Poet

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"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

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"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

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Explore more quotes by P. G. Wodehouse

"Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting."

Life

"As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight."

Humor

"The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun."

Sports

"Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them."

Memory

"The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows."

Home

"The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what has passed."

Reflection

"I had one of those ideas I do sometimes get, though admittedly a chump of the premier class."

Creativity

"Luck is a goddess not to be coerced and forcibly wooed by those who seek her favours. From such masterful spirits she turns away. But it happens sometimes that, if we put our hand in hers with the humble trust of a little child, she will have pity on us, and not fail us in our hour of need."

Philosophy

"On writing Jeeves and Wooster stories:You tell yourself that you can take Jeeves stories or leave them alone, that one more can't possibly hurt you, because you know you can pull up whenever you feel like it, but it is merely wish-full thinking. The craving has gripped you and there is no resisting it.You have passed the point of no return."

Writing

"If girls realized their responsibilities they would be so careful when they smiled that they would probably abandon the practice altogether. There are moments in a man's life when a girl's smile can have as important results as an explosion of dynamite."

Responsibility