"Sometimes you don't even have to have sex at all, and for that kind of sicko, you charge double."

Humor, Sex, Irony, Morality

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"Sometimes you don't even have to have sex at all, and for that kind of sicko, you charge double."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary, Apollo remarked casually.I grinned at him. "I don't think 'assholeness' is a word."It is if I say it is. Apollo drew in a deep breath, a sure sign his temper was reaching its knock-Seth-into-the-nearby-ocean point."

Jennifer L. Armentrout, American Author

Humor, Conflict, Speech, Temper

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Communication, Life, Patience

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

John Irving, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Religion, Truth

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Humor, Economy, Choice, Alcohol

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

Melina Marchetta, Australian Author

Humor, Observation, Life, Interaction

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Disappointment, Marriage, Travel, America

Explore more quotes by Sara Sheridan

"I love stories that suck you in, that you can't stop reading because you are quite simply there."

Literature

"Scotland consistently produces world-class writers."

Writing

"I am more one for the story, I think, than the action."

Storytelling

"I've been obsessed with stories since I was a kid so it's no surprise that I ended up writing for a living."

Creativity

"If there's one shade a woman of colour can't wear it's got to be the one everyone expects, hasn't it?"

Culture

"There was something about Maria Graham that you could believe in " a slice of home. If not unique in her travelling, she was at least extraordinary."

Character

"As a historical novelist, there are few jobs more retrospective."

Literature

"What was it that marked me as a woman and was I prepared to let it go?"

Identity

"The best historical stories capture the modern imagination because they are, in many senses, still current - part of a continuum."

Narrative

"Living in Edinburgh, I consider myself particularly lucky - we have the biggest book festival in the world, a plethora of fascinating libraries and museums, and some of the greatest architecture in Europe."

Culture