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Howard Simons

"People who are funny and smart and return phone calls get much better press than people who are just funny and smart."

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"People who are funny and smart and return phone calls get much better press than people who are just funny and smart."

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"Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion."

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"Frozen yogurt is tastier than ice cream; nobody is too old for cartoons; bald men are sexy; chocolate is the best medicine; BIG books are better; cats secretly rule the planet; and everything should be available in the color pink, including monster trucks."

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"But, you know, I just want to play well and have fun playing well."

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"I'm involved in the stock market, which is fun and, sometimes, very painful."

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"It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified."

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"I write about wounds, the eternal treasons of life. It's not very funny, but it's sincere. My commitment is to sincerity."

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"It's funny to be a critic."

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Howard Simons
"People who are funny and smart and return phone calls get much better press than people who are just funny and smart."
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