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Steven Wright

"Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?"

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"Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?"

Exlpore more Coffee quotes

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Amber Hurdle

"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."

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Amber Hurdle

"I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, 'Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.'"

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Amber Hurdle

"I bought an espresso maker and coffee maker and make them myself every day."

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Amber Hurdle

"When traveling with someone, take large does of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."

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Amber Hurdle

"I like my coffee light."

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Amber Hurdle

"The Monmouth Coffee Shop is the best place in London."

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Amber Hurdle

"If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning."

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Amber Hurdle

"It seems to me that trying to live without friends is like milking a bear to get cream for your morning coffee. It is a whole lot of trouble, and then not worth much after you get it."

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Amber Hurdle

"I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee."

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Amber Hurdle

"I'll quit coffee. It won't be easy drinking my Bailey's straight, but I'll get used to it. It'll still be the best part of waking up."

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Steven Wright
"I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast."
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"I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator."
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Steven Wright
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it."
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Steven Wright
"When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction."
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Steven Wright
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
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Steven Wright
"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."
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Steven Wright
"I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time."
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Steven Wright
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
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Steven Wright
"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."
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Steven Wright
"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."
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