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"Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?"
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Exlpore more Coffee quotes
"I bought an espresso maker and coffee maker and make them myself every day."
"Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it's hard to go back to sleep."
"In the morning we received some very thin coffee. For lunch we had potato soup with a few pieces of meat in it, in the evening we had a very thin meat soup with some potatoes in it."
"Coffee and smoking are the last great addictions."
"Townes van Zandt is the best songwriter in the whole world and I'll stand on Bob Dylan's coffee table in my cowboy boots and say that."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright
"So I figured I'd leave the area, because I had no ties there anyway except for this girl I was seeing. We had conflicting attitudes: I really wasn't into meditating and she wasn't really into being alive. I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate has an expiration date."
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
"I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension."
"I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'"
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."
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