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"Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?"
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Exlpore more Coffee quotes

"Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?"

"The Monmouth Coffee Shop is the best place in London."

"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."

"Coffee on an airplane always smells bad. Whenever it is served, suddenly the whole cabin stinks of it."

"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."

"I bought an espresso maker and coffee maker and make them myself every day."

"In the morning we received some very thin coffee. For lunch we had potato soup with a few pieces of meat in it, in the evening we had a very thin meat soup with some potatoes in it."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright


"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."


"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."


"People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do."


"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."


"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."


"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."
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