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"Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?"
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"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."

"I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, 'Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.'"

"I bought an espresso maker and coffee maker and make them myself every day."

"The Monmouth Coffee Shop is the best place in London."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright


"I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast."


"I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator."


"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."
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