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"I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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Personal Development
"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
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Personal Development
"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
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Personal Development
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
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Personal Development
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
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Personal Development
"Zombies are far better than religious people, because they do not discriminate in killing."
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Personal Development
"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
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Personal Development
"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."
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Personal Development
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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Personal Development
"Milk is the only juice in a world of cows."
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"Support the strong, give courage to the timid, remind the indifferent, and warn the opposed."
Courage
"Our ability to create has outreached our ability to use wisely the products of our invention."
Ability
"The hardest work in the world is being out of work."
Work
"I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog."
Humor
"Liberalism seems to be related to the distance people are from the problem."
People
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