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"I've had so many bikini waxes, I cry every time I see a Popsicle stick."
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"He smiles, and he's made of trouble. We should have dropped him in the Thames in a bag of stones. We should have left him out for the fairies."
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Personal Development
"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."
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Personal Development
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
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Personal Development
"The fun we'll have tonight is called figging."
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Personal Development
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality."
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Personal Development
"I just meant maybe you could set here and drink one of em with me.He squinted at her. You ever notice how women have trouble takin no for a answer? I think itstarts about age three.What about men?They get used to it. They better."
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Personal Development
"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."
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Personal Development
"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."
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Personal Development
"There's a hysterical, tired sense of humor that comes after working 14 hours a day, six days a week. I like those things because they take the pressure off the constant stress."
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Personal Development
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"I change the world, the world changes me."
Transformation
"Because the pure girls get rescued." Mary Lou felt something she didn't let herself feel often. She was well and truly pissed off. "Why do girls have to be all pure and innocent and good? Why don't guys have to be?"
Social
"As a journalist, I am compelled to know the answers.""As a girl, I am compelled to protect what's left of my manicure," Petra said."
Humor
"Pippa's laugh is bitter, tinged with tears. 'Ha! Why do girls think being beautiful will solve every problem? Being beautiful just creates problems. It's a misery. I wish I were someone else."
Life
"Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Felicity and Ann hunched over their ornaments as if they were fascinating relics from an archaeological dig. I note that their shoulders are trembling, and I realize that they are fighting laughter over my terrible plight. There's friendship for you."
Friendship
"The wind has shifted to the East. A storm isn't far off. I can smell the moisture in the air, a fetid, living thing. Isolated drops fall, licking at my hands, my face, my dress. The quests squawk in surprise, turn their palms up to the sky as if questioning it, and dash for cover."
Nature
"No one asks how or what I am doing. They could not care less. We're all looking glasses, we girls, existing only to reflect their images back to them as they'd like to be seen. Hollow vessels of girls to be rinsed of our own ambitions, wants, and opinions, just waiting to be filled with the cool, tepid water of gracious compliance.A fissure forms in the vessel. I'm cracking open."
Society
"Miss New Mexico stared, dumbfounded. "Stand out? Stand out? I have a freaking tray stuck in my forehead!" She broke into fresh sobs.Taylor clapped for attention. "Miss New Mexico, let's not get all down in the bummer basement where the creepy things live. There are people in heathen China who don't even have airline trays. We have a lot to be grateful for."
Society
"I run after her, not really giving chase. I'm running because I can, because I must.Because I want to see how far I can go before I have to stop."
Action
"We have work to do if you are not to be a total failure like high-waisted, acid-wash jeans."
Life
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