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"We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born."
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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."
"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."
"Most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes."
"He makes people pleased with him by making them first pleased with themselves."
"People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy."
"When people are taken out of their depths they lose their heads, no matter how charming a bluff they may put up."
Explore more quotes by Robert Benchley
"Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous."
"Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk."
"I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well."
"Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them. But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs. I think also that it may have something written on the back of it, although I can't find it when I take the suit off."
"We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on."
"A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated."
"In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop."
"It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."
"You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it."
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