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"We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born."
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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

"People generally quarrel because they cannot argue."

"How long most people would look at the best book before they would give the price of a large turbot for it?"

"I find that most people know what a story is until they sit down to write one."

"I am confident that, in the end, common sense and justice will prevail. I'm an optimist, brought up on the belief that if you wait to the end of the story, you get to see the good people live happily ever after."

"You've got to clock the hours and pay your dues. Then eventually, people will come to you. You have to be patient and appreciative."
Explore more quotes by Robert Benchley


"At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands."


"For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting."


"Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it."


"Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony."


"In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop."


"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."


"There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them."


"I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well."
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