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"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton."
Gay

"No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney."
Old

"Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno."
Body

"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"
Health

"For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home."
Home

"People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine."
People

"It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said."
Race

"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
Change

"A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag."
Time

"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."
Daughter
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"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I don't think any gay dude is gangsta, period."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."
Author Name
Personal Development

"It would have been convenient to be gay. Just because of the grooming, the narcissism, stuff like that. But I have this kind of roaring heterosexuality. Traditional, uncomplicated heterosexuality, an almost cliched Robin Askwith thing."
Author Name
Personal Development

"When I was I younger I didn't want to be gay. Not because I was scared of the sexual thing; I didn't want to be a clone. Now this was in the late '70s."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I'm a very recent convert to the gay scene. I went to a party a couple of years ago and met a very nice man who took me under his wing and started taking me out to clubs. It was a revelation."
Author Name
Personal Development

"And I used to go the punk clubs such as a gay club in Poland Street that everyone would go to because it was the only place you could go to looking like that without getting beaten senseless."
Author Name
Personal Development

"The Lord is my Shepherd and he knows I'm gay."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I am not gay, I just like pearls."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I've just found out there are pages on the internet dedicated to whether I'm gay or not."
Author Name
Personal Development
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