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Henny Youngman

"If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving."

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"If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving."

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Amber Hurdle

"In the first place, Descartes stands for the most explicit and uncompromising dualism between mind and matter."

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Amber Hurdle

"Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does."

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Amber Hurdle

"Australian SF book publishing has undergone a boom recently, and sometimes it's easier for new writers to sell a book to a local publisher first, which then makes a US edition more likely."

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Amber Hurdle

"I learned to speak first, and then to sign. I have never really known what it was like to hear, so I can't compare hearing aids to normal hearing."

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Amber Hurdle

"The first question which you will ask and which I must try to answer is this; What is the use of climbing Mount Everest? and my answer must at once be, it is no use. There is not the slightest prospect of any gain whatsoever."

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Amber Hurdle

"It was my band. I organized the band and Dizzy was in the band. Dizzy was the first musical director with the band. Charlie Parker was in the band. But, no, no, that was my band."

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Amber Hurdle

"You know, I once leased a Mercedes because I got a good deal on it because of my first name."

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Amber Hurdle

"I think we were the first picture to cut on Final Cut Pro. So we were the guinea pigs, because we got a deal on the system. But with that comes all sorts of technological problems I couldn't begin to describe."

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Amber Hurdle

"They wanted Guy Middleton instead of Kenneth More, and even Kay Kendall wasn't their first choice!"

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Amber Hurdle

"The composition of a single melody is born out of a bit of text, perhaps the first line, but it can also be the entire strophe; it can even be the poem's overall form."

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
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Henny Youngman
"Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it."
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Henny Youngman
"My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself."
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Henny Youngman
"Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport."
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Henny Youngman
"If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas."
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Henny Youngman
"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."
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Henny Youngman
"I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me."
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Henny Youngman
"A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well."
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Henny Youngman
"You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready."
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Henny Youngman
"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
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