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Quotes by Humorist

"Corporations cannot commit treason, or be outlawed or excommunicated, for they have no souls."

"There are people who can talk sensibly about a controversial issue; they're called humorists."


"I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything."

"A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit."

"When the product is right, you don't have to be a great marketer."

"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours."

"From my earliest days I have enjoyed an attractive impediment in my speech. I have never permitted the use of the word stammer. I can't say it myself."

"One of the true tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency."

"We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief respites are called panic."

"Saying what we think gives a wider range of conversation than saying what we know."

"The trouble with being a hypochondriac these days is that antibiotics have cured all the good diseases."

"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down."

"Behind every successful man you'll find a woman who has nothing to wear."

"In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are."


"I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for."
Love,

"The trouble with the future is that is usually arrives before we're ready for it."

"Make your life a mission - not an intermission."
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