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Quotes by Humorist

"Corporations cannot commit treason, or be outlawed or excommunicated, for they have no souls."
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Harold Coffin
"Corporations cannot commit treason, or be outlawed or excommunicated, for they have no souls."
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"Some have greatness thrust upon them, but not lately."
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Frank Dane
"Some have greatness thrust upon them, but not lately."
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"There are people who can talk sensibly about a controversial issue; they're called humorists."
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Cullen Hightower
"There are people who can talk sensibly about a controversial issue; they're called humorists."
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"Rome had Senators too, that's why it declined."
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Frank Dane
"Rome had Senators too, that's why it declined."
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"It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope."
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Arthur Baer
"It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope."
Man,
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"I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything."
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Otis Criblecoblis
"I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything."
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"I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine."
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Caskie Stinnett
"I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine."
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"A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit."
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Arnold H. Glasow
"A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit."
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"Preachers denounce sin as if it was available to everyone."
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Frank Dane
"Preachers denounce sin as if it was available to everyone."
Sin,
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"When the product is right, you don't have to be a great marketer."
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Harold Coffin
"When the product is right, you don't have to be a great marketer."
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"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours."
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Arthur Baer
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours."
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"From my earliest days I have enjoyed an attractive impediment in my speech. I have never permitted the use of the word stammer. I can't say it myself."
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Patrick Campbell
"From my earliest days I have enjoyed an attractive impediment in my speech. I have never permitted the use of the word stammer. I can't say it myself."
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"One of the true tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency."
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Arnold H. Glasow
"One of the true tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency."
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"We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief respites are called panic."
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Cullen Hightower
"We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief respites are called panic."
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"Saying what we think gives a wider range of conversation than saying what we know."
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Cullen Hightower
"Saying what we think gives a wider range of conversation than saying what we know."
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"The trouble with being a hypochondriac these days is that antibiotics have cured all the good diseases."
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Caskie Stinnett
"The trouble with being a hypochondriac these days is that antibiotics have cured all the good diseases."
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"Improvement begins with I."
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Arnold H. Glasow
"Improvement begins with I."
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"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down."
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Arnold H. Glasow
"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down."
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"Behind every successful man you'll find a woman who has nothing to wear."
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Harold Coffin
"Behind every successful man you'll find a woman who has nothing to wear."
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"Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire."
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Arnold H. Glasow
"Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire."
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"In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are."
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Arnold H. Glasow
"In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are."
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"Fear is the lengthened shadow of ignorance."
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Arnold H. Glasow
"Fear is the lengthened shadow of ignorance."
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"I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for."
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Otis Criblecoblis
"I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for."
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"Working for a federal agency was like trying to dislodge a prune skin from the roof of the mouth. More enterprise went into the job than could be justified by the results."
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Caskie Stinnett
"Working for a federal agency was like trying to dislodge a prune skin from the roof of the mouth. More enterprise went into the job than could be justified by the results."
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"The trouble with the future is that is usually arrives before we're ready for it."
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Arnold H. Glasow
"The trouble with the future is that is usually arrives before we're ready for it."
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"Make your life a mission - not an intermission."
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Arnold H. Glasow
"Make your life a mission - not an intermission."
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