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Quotes by Humorist
"Saying what we think gives a wider range of conversation than saying what we know."
48
"I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for."
Love,
48
"What the country needs are a few labor-making inventions."
47
"I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything."
47
"One of the true tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency."
45
"People seldom become famous for what they say until after they are famous for what they've done."
45
"Faith is building on what you know is here, so you can reach what you know is there."
44
"One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency."
44
"In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are."
44
"There are people who can talk sensibly about a controversial issue; they're called humorists."
44
"Live so that your friends can defend you but never have to."
44
"We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief respites are called panic."
43
"The only thing worse than an active conscience is one that's retroactive."
42
"From my earliest days I have enjoyed an attractive impediment in my speech. I have never permitted the use of the word stammer. I can't say it myself."
42
"When the product is right, you don't have to be a great marketer."
41
"The trouble with being a hypochondriac these days is that antibiotics have cured all the good diseases."
36
"The news of any politician's death should be listed under "Public Improvements.""
36
"Behind every successful man you'll find a woman who has nothing to wear."
35
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