"What this country needs is a credit card for charging things to experience."

"I wouldn't mind the rat race - if the rats would lose once in a while."

"We are set to make very bad history."

"If I had a nickel for every time I said "Why me?" I'd have probably said "Why me?" more often."

"Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself."

"I try not to worry about the future - so I take each day just one anxiety attack at a time."

"The waist is a terrible thing to mind."

"A smile is a facelift that's in everyone's price range!"

"If I ever had an out-of-body experience - I'd try to come back to a different one."

"Mondays are the potholes in the road of life."

"There's no future in spending our present worrying about our past."

"If you spend all of your time racing ahead to the future, you're liable to discover you've left a great present behind."

"Happiness doesn't depend on how much you have to enjoy, but how much you enjoy what you have."

"These days an income is something you can't live without - or within."

"About the only time losing is more fun than winning is when you're fighting temptation."

"A smile is happiness you'll find right under your nose."

"Nobody got where they are today by living for tomorrow."