"Prejudices save time."

"Doing a thing well is often a waste of time."

"Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell."

"No one ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have tried while trying to write one."

"One reason people get divorced is that they run out of gift ideas."

"Winter is nature's way of saying, "Up yours.""

"Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography."

"A promising young man should go into politics so that he can go on promising for the rest of his life."

"Getting caught is the mother of invention."

"Partying is such sweet sorrow."

"Byrne's Law: In any electrical circuit, appliances and wiring will burn out to protect fuses."

"Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least."

"There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on."

"Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life."

"Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who already left."

"Everything is in a state of flux, including the status quo."

"The purpose of life is a life of purpose."