"You're not allowed to give yourself a nickname. This holds true in life as well as in poker."

"I've been playing Texas Hold 'em and other forms of poker since I was about 12."

"Even though we're a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

"Living in the past is a Jethro Tull album, not a smart poker strategy."

"Wal-Mart doesn't really care about your faith. Wal-Mart cares if you have money to spend, and it is going to be as generic as possible in exploiting the holiday season for every buck it can make."

"When we root-root-root for the home team, we're rooting for our home as much as the team."

"On first blush, Hold 'em seems like a ridiculously simple game."

"Well, I think one of the reasons Chicago became so popular as a filmmaker location is because New York had been used so many times that Chicago, I think, was rediscovered maybe in the late '60s, early '70s for a long time as a new location."

"The truth is that our way of celebrating the Christmas season does spring from myriad cultures and sources, from St. Nicholas to Coca-Cola advertising campaigns."

"Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazines also often feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day."

"Sometimes a 3-1 favorite loses. That's why they call it gambling, and that's why they keep flipping over the cards."