"I understand your new play is full of single entendres."

"Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye."

"Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch."

"Satire is what closes on Saturday night."

"When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay."

"The kind of doctor I want is one who when he's not examining me is home studying medicine."