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George S. Kaufman

"Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye."

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"Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye."

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Amber Hurdle

"When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers."

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"Exceeds man's might: that dwells with the gods above."

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"God and other artists are always a little obscure....."

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Amber Hurdle

"If God wants us to do a thing, he should make his wishes sufficiently clear. Sensible people will wait till he has done this before paying much attention to him."

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Amber Hurdle

"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have only ever made one prayer to God, a very short one: O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it."

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Amber Hurdle

"Man goes far away or near but God never goes far-off; he is always standing close at hand, and even if he cannot stay within he goes no further than the door."

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Amber Hurdle

"You may call God love, you may call God goodness. But the best name for God is compassion."

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Amber Hurdle

"I wouldn't put it past God to arrange a virgin birth if He wanted, but I very much doubt if He would."

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George S. Kaufman
"I understand your new play is full of single entendres."
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George S. Kaufman
"When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay."
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George S. Kaufman
"Satire is what closes on Saturday night."
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George S. Kaufman
"The kind of doctor I want is one who when he's not examining me is home studying medicine."
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George S. Kaufman
"Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch."
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George S. Kaufman
"Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye."
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