"I get a little behind during Lent, but it comes out even at Christmas."

"Bishops are like umpires. You have to have them to call the close decisions."

"When I was 18, I thought my father was pretty dumb. After a while when I got to be 21, I was amazed to find out how much he'd learned in three years."

"The joy of giving is indeed a pleasure, especially when you get rid of something you don't want."

"A golf course is nothing but a pool room moved outdoors."