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"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."
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"I'm certain that most couples expect to find intimacy in marriage, but it somehow eludes them."
"Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two."
"I also remembered Buddy Willard saying in a sinister, knowing way that after Ihad children I would feel differently, I wouldn't want to write poems any more. So I began to think maybe it was true that when you were married and had children it was like being brainwashed, and afterward you went about numb as a slave in some private, totalitarian state."
"Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest."
"Treat marriage like a diamond necklace; if broken, fix it, but do not throw it away."
"You contribute much to your marriage by the wise, thrifty, diligent management and oversight of your part of the household budget."
Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman
"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
"My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself."
"My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!"
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