"Bores put you in a mental cemetery while you are still walking."

Humor, Walking

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"Bores put you in a mental cemetery while you are still walking."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

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"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

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"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

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"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

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"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

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"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."

Kenneth Grahame, Scottish Novelist

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"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Madness, Science

"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."

Neil Gaiman, British Author

Humor, Mistake, Fallibility, Regret

"Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

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Explore more quotes by Elsa Maxwell

"Seeing unhappiness in the marriage of friends, I was content to have chosen music and laughter as a substitute for a husband."

Friendship, Marriage, Music, Husbcontent, Friends

"Serve the dinner backward, do anything - but for goodness sake, do something weird."

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"A bore is a vacuum cleaner of society, sucking up everything and giving nothing. Bores are always eager to be seen talking to you."

Society, Giving, Nothing, Talking

"I make enemies deliberately. They are the sauce piquante to my dish of life."

Life, Enemies

"Under pressure, people admit to murder, setting fire to the village church or robbing a bank, but never to being bores."

People, Church, Being, Fire

"Bores put you in a mental cemetery while you are still walking."

Humor, Walking

"Someone said that life is a party. You join in after it's started and leave before it's finished."

Life, Party

"Existence is a party. You join after its started and you leave before its finished."

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"I don't hate anyone. I dislike. But my dislike is the equivalent of anyone else's hate."

Hate,

"Giving parties is a trivial avocation, but it pays the dues for my union card in humanity."

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