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"He liked murder. Murder and long walks had been two of his favorite things when he was younger."
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"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

"They lack suggestive power. And when a book lacks suggestive power, however hard it hits the surface of the mind it cannot penetrate within."

"To me she said, "It's this stupid gotcha thing, they've been doing it for weeks now. Leaping out at each other and us, scaring the hell out of everyone.""It's a game of wits," Bert said to me."Half-wits," Kristy added."

"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
Explore more quotes by Derek Landy

"She had been a teenager once, and she knew that, despite the apparent contradictions, a person's teenage years lasted well into their fifties."

"I mean you ACRES of harm,' Dalrymple growled. 'Untold QUANTITIES of harm. I will visit a whole CONTINENT of harm upon you before we are through."

"If anyone stops us, as long as we mumble something pretentious about the glory of death, we should be fine."

"But I'm really enjoying my retirement. I get to sleep in every day. I do crossword puzzles and eat cake."

"I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall."

"You should have called us. Desmond would have picked you up.''No I wouldn't,' Valkyrie's dad said, stepping into earshot. 'Sorry, Fletcher, but I had important fatherly duties to take care of, which included eating breakfast, showering, and finding my trousers. Of those three, I only managed two. Without looking down, can you guess which one I missed?'... Fletcher smiled back. 'I just want to borrow Stephanie for a moment.''Take our daughter,' Valkryie's dad said, waving a hand airily. 'We have another one now."

"He crouched at the car window and looked in. 'What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one.' His finger jabbed the glass. 'That one's a bit ugly."

"Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she'd been on. The last PROPER date. Did fighting side by side with Saracen Rue count as a date? They ended up snuggling under the moonlight, drenched in gore and pieces of brain - so it had PROBABLY been a date. If it wasn't, it was certainly a fun time had by all. Well, not ALL. But she and Saracen had sure had a blast."

"Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives."

"It would be fun, Skulduggery nodded. I like kicking Wreath in the face. I haven't had a chance to do it nearly as much as I'd like."
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