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"It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month."
Day,
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"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
Day,

"I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times."

"The Navy has changed a great deal. Not that the officers of my day were bad, because I served under a lot of good officers, believe me. But there were a few bad ones, too."

"I'll probably make loads of plans, and then just sit around on my bottom all day long and do nothing."
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"The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends."

"I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style."

"I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard."
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