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Elle Lothlorien

"I grimace, thinking someone should come up with a new phrase for 'I left the ocean without a kiwi-sized chunk of my lower-left butt cheek' to replace the rather nebulous term 'exploratory bite."

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"I grimace, thinking someone should come up with a new phrase for 'I left the ocean without a kiwi-sized chunk of my lower-left butt cheek' to replace the rather nebulous term 'exploratory bite."

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"Shards flew everywhere, slicing her hands, her forearm, and cascading to the floor like snow glistening on a winter morning."

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Amber Hurdle

"Oh, gosh, okay... well, my biggest injury was probably a bone chip in my ankle that required surgery."

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Amber Hurdle

"I grimace, thinking someone should come up with a new phrase for 'I left the ocean without a kiwi-sized chunk of my lower-left butt cheek' to replace the rather nebulous term 'exploratory bite."

Explore more quotes by Elle Lothlorien

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Elle Lothlorien
"Once the principals in their party are seated, with those lower on the totem pole left to grumble and move on to find another table, our once-cozy booth transforms into a damp fusion of vacuous wretchedness, with the three women all complaining alternately about their wet hair/clothes and their respective distance from Talon, while the man himself is trying to maneuver his Paul Bunyan frame way too close to me."
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Elle Lothlorien
"Just keep it simple, Alice Faye. Remember how you taught yourself. Nothing's different just because you're on a yacht, or wearing a fancy dress. Or because you appear to have dropped acid and are now in the mirror room at the fun house."
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Elle Lothlorien
"I don't think I heard the same ending you did. Maybe you should tell it again."
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Elle Lothlorien
"Alice, winning means manipulation. It means taking people-people who may have helped you in the past, even people you care about-and using them without hesitation or regret. It means making decisions that would be viewed by any normal-thinking human being as cynical at best and dishonorable at worst."
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Elle Lothlorien
"Who are you? Rabbit and Souris call you 'Alice,' me and Dee call you 'Faye.' I just didn't know if 'Alice' was your poker-playing, Southern Hemisphere name or what. Hey, I'm just trying to fit in here. If I should be introducing myself as 'Clark,' I want to know about it sooner rather than later so I don't embarrass myself."
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Elle Lothlorien
"Well, Faye, dear, I'm sure Harlow's sorry she didn't think to ask if you'd been eaten by a shark. That's totally on her."
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Elle Lothlorien
"Like your sweet, affectionate house cat, Alice Dahl is easy to underestimate. It's not until the songbirds in the yard show up eviscerated on the front porch that you realize you should've kept that bell collar on her-because those poor birds never even saw her coming."
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Elle Lothlorien
"And just so you know-that winter forest we walked into first? That was from Through the Looking Glass too. Hey, if you're going to saddle me with the blame for your overconsumption, at least get the book right."
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Elle Lothlorien
"I like it because when people use a lot of poker lingo, it usually means they've been playing the game for a while. Which is why I immediately avoid those people."
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Elle Lothlorien
"Don't take this the wrong way, but Australians have a LOT of bitches on their cashola."
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