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"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself."
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"Time is standing still. We are measuring ourselves by how far we are going."

"If you want to know the value of a minute ask the person who came to the train station or airport a minute late."

"Don't equate effective living to being busy."
Explore more quotes by Roseanne Barr


"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself."


"As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job."


"There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect."


"Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?"


"Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with."


"I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life."
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