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"The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida."
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"Grandparents who want to be truly helpful will do well to keep their mouths shut and their opinions to themselves until these are requested."
"I phoned my grandparents and my grandfather said 'We saw your movie.' 'Which one?' I said. He shouted 'Betty, what was the name of that movie I didn't like?"
"My grandparents told endless stories about the town they were from. It became an almost mythic place."
"The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating."
"Kakimi chertyami oni viigrali holodnuyu voinu?'This translates roughly to: 'How the hell did these people win the Cold War?"
"There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater,you realize that you've been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent."
"Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough."
"Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth."
"This is the funniest book I've ever held in my hands. --Dave Barry, Pulitzer Prize winning humorist and author says about Radical Sabbatical."
"Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions."
"Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking."
"I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a moral person, but I'm definitely not religious, and I'm very tired of the preachiness and obsession with other people's behavior characteristic of many religious people in the United States. As far as I could tell, there's nothing preachy about Buddhism. I was in a lot of temples, and I still don't know what Buddhists believe, except that at one point Kunio said 'If you do bad things, you will be reborn as an ox.'This makes as much sense to me as anything I ever heard from, for example, the Reverend Pat Robertson."
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