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"The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida."
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"My grandparents told endless stories about the town they were from. It became an almost mythic place."
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Personal Development
"I phoned my grandparents and my grandfather said 'We saw your movie.' 'Which one?' I said. He shouted 'Betty, what was the name of that movie I didn't like?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Grandparents who want to be truly helpful will do well to keep their mouths shut and their opinions to themselves until these are requested."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting."
Humor
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
Humor
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
Religion
"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."
Humor
"The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot."
Computer
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Car
"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example."
Science
"If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'"
Society
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
Purpose
"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."
Car
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