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"If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone."
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Explore more quotes by Lenny Bruce

"The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't."

"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up."

"Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it."

"The "what should be" never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no "what should be," there is only what is."

"A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know."
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""Think simple" as my old master used to say - meaning reduce the whole of its parts into the simplest terms, getting back to first principles."

"First of all, the most important, that is to learn everything good that has survived from other times, and carefully to watch the bad - and throw it out."

"My first jam was at Hotel Diplomat opening for Hollywood."

"I wanted a name that would put us first in the phone directory, or second if you count ABBA."
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