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"If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone."
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"In the first place, Descartes stands for the most explicit and uncompromising dualism between mind and matter."

"I'm very fast on teaching guys. Like, when I came over here, I only had two rehearsals with the band. I wondered when I first got here... but it sure came up great."

"You have to examine a scene on the page first. Then you get into the basics of acting: Who are you? Who are you talking to? How do you feel about that person?"

"The real question was, here we had this information, Bin Laden intends to strike in the United States. We knew they had struck before in 1993 at the World Trade Center in the first bombing of the trade center."
Explore more quotes by Lenny Bruce

"I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do."

"The "what should be" never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no "what should be," there is only what is."

"The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't."

"A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know."

"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up."

"If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses."
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