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Calvin Trillin

"As far as I'm concerned, "whom" is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler."

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"As far as I'm concerned, "whom" is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler."

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"Good friends, very good what's the equation motherfucker???"

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"To me she said, "It's this stupid gotcha thing, they've been doing it for weeks now. Leaping out at each other and us, scaring the hell out of everyone.""It's a game of wits," Bert said to me."Half-wits," Kristy added."

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"A woman is always better in everything with the mouth, she talks a lot."

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Amber Hurdle

"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

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"The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?"
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"I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still."
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"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
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"I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally."
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"When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere."
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"Health food makes me sick."
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"The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out."
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Calvin Trillin
"As far as I'm concerned, "whom" is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler."
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