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"You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, 'My GOSH, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!"
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"Human beings are the only animals of which I am thoroughly and cravenly afraid."
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Personal Development
"It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians."
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Personal Development
"Research has shown that a barren environment is much more damaging to baby animals than it is to adult animals. It does not hurt the adult animals the same way it damages babies."
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Personal Development
"The Indians could not undertake any widespread cultivation of the plains not only because they lacked iron tools but also because they had no draft animals."
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Personal Development
"When it comes to wilderness animals we have to make an effort to preserve what areas we can that they can be themselves in. Its come to a point though, clearly, where some species have to be cared for by humans if they are not going to disappear altogether."
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"I couldn't watch Tom and Jerry. The cruelty was too much. I had all these strange images, of tiny animals, all mixed up."
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Personal Development
"If I could stomach the awful part of being a veterinarian, which involves sticking your hand up animals' behinds, I would be a vet."
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Personal Development
"The dog commends himself to our favor by affording play to our propensity for mastery."
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Personal Development
"Because animals are property, we consider as "humane treatment" that we would regard as torture if it were inflicted on humans."
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Personal Development
"I'm afraid of animals."
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"The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot."
Computer
"Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!"
Job
"You're only young once but you can always be immature."
Humor
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
Humor
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
Religion
"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."
Humor
"The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter."
Sports
"My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible."
Humor
"It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money."
Art
"I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories."
Society
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