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"GPS has saved countless relationships because us men do not like to ask for directions. Now if women could only come with relationship GPS we would be one step closer to world peace."
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"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."
"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."
"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."
"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"
"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."
"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."
"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."
Explore more quotes by Ken Poirot
"Incorporate daily programs on positive thinking as a counterbalance against the negativity you may encounter in pursuit of your dreams."
"Sometimes we get so busy with our daily lives we do not take the steps and time necessary to be introspective."
"The truth is usually somewhere in the gray turbulent eddies set in motion by the mixture of black and white."
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