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"GPS has saved countless relationships because us men do not like to ask for directions. Now if women could only come with relationship GPS we would be one step closer to world peace."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."
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Personal Development
"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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"Never quit on your dream, but learn to cut your losses and quit your plan if it is not working."
Success
"One act of betrayal can shatter a lifetime of trust."
Relationship
"Mentor Me: ...the crossroads and convergence of where science, metaphysics, religion, and utopian society intersect."
Learning
"A job is the ultimate pyramid scheme."
Work
"Actions are most important in life: act with love, kindness, understanding, and compassion toward others that they may bear witness to your belief(s)."
Morality
"You have not lived until you have fled a city in a country where you do not speak the language in the middle of the night."
Experience
"A positive mindset alone in the absence of hard work will get you nowhere."
Success
"Time is but an illusion created by beings with limited perception."
Philosophy
"The greatest joy in traveling is seeing where you end up."
Adventure
"Even the darkest cloud cannot obscure the brightest light."
Hope
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