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"I had this guy's file pulled this morning, along with the rest of your neighbors. His name is Desperado.Pause. A few seconds passed. He was waiting for my reaction.'Did you say Desperado? I couldn't stop the snort of laughter that bubbled to the surface. 'Yeah, the Director confirmed. 'He changed his name when he turned eighteen. It was Melvin.I was still laughing. 'Cause Desperado is so much better than Melvin."
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"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."
"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."
"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."
"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"
"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."
"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."
"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."
Explore more quotes by Laura Kreitzer
"What are you doing? Egnatious asked, eyebrows furrowed as he watched Gabriella do a flip.Firen mimicked Gabriella and turned to Egnatious. 'Fun times. Go with it. She didn't even crack a smile, though her body language said she was laughing on the inside.Instead of following their act, Egnatious simply dove for an outcrop just as it began moving away. He nearly lost his balance, but Firen caught his flailing arms.'Are you having a seizure or something? she jested, displaying a rare vein of humor.Egnatious sent her a queasy glare."
"Why aren't you smiling? Cameron asks. She picks up the Astropad and stops the video.'Because this is the beginning, not the end."
"Oh yes. You've done a marvelous job of succeeding at failure."
"Why won't you look at me? she murmurs.He doesn't speak, seemingly at a loss for words.'It's my scars. It comes out as barely a whisper.Horror spasms across his face. 'What? No, he says, a bit breathless. 'You're beautiful. All of you."
"Burn wounds always elicited pain more terrible than anything else he had ever endured. He didn't relish the idea of forcing himself to suffer through such agony. But it was necessary. Earth depended on them taking possession of the key. 'It's the only way out, Andrew reminded him.'I understand that, but-'The trials we have faced thus far have been minimal, Andrew said, cutting off Sebastian's retort. 'What we seek is the key to the universe. You didn't expect it to be easy, did you?"
"I thought it was just him, she says, ignoring him. 'But then I found out I had the same effect, which means the Society did something to my head too.Gage's eyes close, horror washing over him. 'You really do love him.'Yes. No. I don't know. Her cries start up again, piercing his heart. 'Gage, help me.'I love you, he says, holding her closer. 'That's real."
"Her gaze travels back to the lie twisted in a tempest of mud and blood. She witnesses the culmination of her recklessness through a curved lens. Absorbed in life uncoiling, unaware of the world beyond this ridge. His light hair, darkened by rain. His stiff shoulders, full of pain. The vision poisoned with truth. With rust-stained hues."
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