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"It's not 2038 that Social Security is bankrupt. It's now."
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"Do not postpone your problems, solve them now! Because tomorrow you might be weaker than today and there might arise additional problems! Unsheathe your sword now; forget tomorrow, time is now!"

"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."
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"I had redesigned my entire amplifier system for this tour because airlines are very strict now."
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"So now what happens is the cameras follow me around and capture exactly what I've been doing since I was a boy. Only now we have a team of, you know, like 73 of us, and it's gone beyond that."
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"This country would be a better place to live in if all the resources we currently put toward criminalizing marijuana were instead spent by law enforcement on protection from real crime, as opposed to victimless crime."

"The current prohibition laws are forcing drug disputes to be played out with guns in our streets. We need to put a stop to this criminal drug element in our country."

"It is clear from the reaction to our campaign so far that our message is resonating. I look forward to continuing to take this message to all Americans, and showing them that I can be as successful running the country as I was running the state of New Mexico."

"The voice of the Republican party is up for grabs. It's a contest right now."

"The excitement right now is coming from the Liberty movement. And the Republicans want a piece of it."

"I'm finding myself really angry over spending and the deficit. I'm finding myself really angry over what's happening in the Middle East, the decision to stay in Afghanistan indefinitely. I'm angry about cap and trade. And I've been on record for a long time on the failed war on drugs."
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