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"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
Friendship
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
Time
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Car
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Power
"Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it."
Press
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."
Future
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
Purpose
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
Thought
"Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen."
Ocean
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"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Get in the race car do what I do then go home. We don't have freedom to do anything anymore."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Unfortunately we don't have all the bits and pieces on the car that we had hoped to have by this stage so we've got to make as good a job as we can with what we have and we feel we are doing well with that at the moment."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The hydrogen powered car, with its high fuel mileage and zero emission rate, is just one example of the products under development that will help increase our energy independence."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My mother gave me this book called Feature Films at Used Car Prices by a guy named Rick Schmidt. I gotta credit the guy, cuz he gave me the most practical advice. It empowers you."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Why do people talk of the horrors of old age? It's great. I feel like a fine old car with the parts gradually wearing out, but I'm not complaining,... Those who find growing old terrible are people who haven't done what they wanted with their lives."
Author Name
Personal Development
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