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"I am invariably late for appointments - sometimes as much as two hours. I've tried to change my ways but the things that make me late are too strong, and too pleasing."
Change
"I am involved in a freedom ride protesting the loss of the minority rights belonging to the few remaining earthbound stars. All we demanded was our right to twinkle."
Freedom
"It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone."
Feelings
"What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course."
Bed
"There was my name up in lights. I said, 'God, somebody's made a mistake.' But there it was, in lights. And I sat there and said, 'Remember, you're not a star.' Yet there it was up in lights."
Mistake
"I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it."
Living
"My work is the only ground I've ever had to stand on. I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation but I'm working on the foundation."
Work
"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul."
Kiss
"The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn't any."
Trouble
"I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent."
Talent
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"Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Leo. Jason said, you're wierd. Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don't remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes. Come on!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A civil servant doesn't make jokes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."
Author Name
Personal Development
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