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"You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians."
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"That's why modern corporate movie making has become so laborious that comedians are kind of kicked out by 50."
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"I have worked with a great many comedians as opposed to comics, although I have worked with comics as well, I make the distinction."
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"But it's fun to be something, have that, and you don't have to be real. It's like, comedians. They go on and they're doing all these jokes. I would be like that if I were more awake."
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"I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them."
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"I was up until all hours of the night, listening to stories, meeting great old comedians."
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"You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians."
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Personal Development
"I wanted to do - there was this film called 'Magic' that Anthony Hopkins did. And the director wanted me. The writer wanted me. Joe Levine said no, I don't want any comedians in this."
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"The real good comedians, like Chaplin, would make you laugh and a second later, cry."
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"I feel I'm as qualified for office as any of the other comedians who are running."
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"My favorite comedians were Jimmy Durante, George Burns, senior citizens."
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"I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law."
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"I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way."
Personal Development
"In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'"
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"Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character."
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"I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry."
Personal Development
"You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians."
Personal Development
"There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell."
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"I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart."
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"In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars."
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"Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know whether it's a new thing, but it's certainly a current thing, in that it doesn't seem to matter what facts are. It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything."
Personal Development
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