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"Just because an apple falls one hundred times out of a hundred does not mean it will fall on the hundred and first."
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"But twice-two-makes-four is for all that a most insupportable thing. Twice-two-makes-four is, in my humble opinion, nothing but a piece of impudence. Twice-two-makes-four is a farcical, dressed-up fellow who stands across your path with arms akimbo and spits at you."

"It had to be a trick or you couldn't have done it."

"A thousand minus one is never a thousand."

"That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence."

"I was upset. I had always believed logic was a universal weapon and now I realized how its validity depended on the way it was employed."

"Where's your common sense? None of those books agree with each other. You've been locked up here for years with a regular damned Tower of Babel. Snap out of it! The people in those books never lived. Come on now!"
Explore more quotes by Derek Landy

"My wife was saying to me just the other day how she's noticed a spring in my step lately. That was because I thought you were gone forever.' 'I missed you too, Thurid."

"Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she'd been on. The last PROPER date. Did fighting side by side with Saracen Rue count as a date? They ended up snuggling under the moonlight, drenched in gore and pieces of brain - so it had PROBABLY been a date. If it wasn't, it was certainly a fun time had by all. Well, not ALL. But she and Saracen had sure had a blast."

"If anyone stops us, as long as we mumble something pretentious about the glory of death, we should be fine."

"Skul-man!' he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. 'Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!' Skulduggery nodded. 'Just got back."

"He could wear hats. He could wear an assortment of hats of different shapes and styles. Boater hats, cowboy hats, bowler hats. The list went on. Pork-pie hats, bucket hats, trillbies and panamas. Top hats, straw hats, trapper hats. Wide brim narrow brim, stingy brim. He could wear a fez. Fezzes were cool. Hadn't someone once said that fezzes were cool? He was pretty aur ether had. And they were. They were cool."

"Look at what you've done,' Sanguine said, shaking his head with mock severity. 'You have foiled out insidious little plot. You have emerged triumphant and victorious. Curse you, do-gooders. Curse you."

"He liked murder. Murder and long walks had been two of his favorite things when he was younger."

"Corrival looked around. 'So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.''Me?' Ravel asked. 'Why do I have to start it? You're the most respected mage here. You start it, or Skulduggery.'Skulduggery shook his head. 'I can't start it. I don't like most of these people. I might start shooting."

"An untied shoelace can be dangerous,' he said.'I could have tripped.'She stared at him. A moment dragged by.'I'm joking,' he said at last.She relaxed. 'Really?''Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I'm far too graceful."

"A living skeleton isn't enough for you, is it? What does it take to impress young people these days?"
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