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"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example."
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"If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat."
"The disruption of science is one which abandons the method and seeks to conquer grounds outside its territory. It is not at all religion but this pseudo-science that is the enemy of science."
"Mathematics possesses not only truth but supreme beauty - a beauty cold and austere like that of a sculpture."
"Since every piece of matter in the Universe is in some way affected by every other piece of matter in the Universe, it is in theory possible to extrapolate the whole of creation - every sun, every planet, their orbits, their composition and their economic and social history from, say, one small piece of fairy cake."
"Neuroanatomy, political history, and introspection all offer evidence that human beings are quite capable of resisting the urge to surrender to every impulse of reptilian core of brain."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."
"It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate."
"Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column."
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