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"People will laugh at anything, except their own moronic self."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
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"You are given a life, a death. Understand both while living, and before dying. Or you'd have wasted a life, a death."
Philosophy
"You're not free, until you get rid of I-myself-me; and let enter 'That', which, the sages call "Thee"."
Freedom
"Just a child is free to wander in one's father's garden, discovering little or big things; it is left to the seeker to grow unto the Nature of the Absolute."
Exploration
"Hey, religious nuts! Please do not grow up. Just go up!"
Spiritual
"I love religious nuts. They make me remember I have them too. So, being a health nut, I scratch them religiously. Just as I do my butt."
Humor
"Life is an unfinished art, few master it, most just bark."
Art
"Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags."
Reality
"Do it or not, but do."
Action
"Whatsoever is outside, know, is Within."
Awareness
"Scientism and godism are superstitions, one blindly believes in what's visible, the other blindly believes in what's invisible."
Belief
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