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"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
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Exlpore more Purpose quotes
"There is a huge difference between living a Christian life and living a religious life."
"God has a plan to make you great, famous, and unique."
"We should see our calling as our life's major assignment."
"You and your calling are inseparable."
"Want to keep your life? Look for work, not a job."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"I believe it was Shakespeare, or possibly Howard Cosell, who first observed that marriage is very much like a birthday candle, in that 'the flames of passion burn brightest when the wick of intimacy is first ignited by the disposable butane lighter of physical attraction, but sooner or later the heat of familiarity causes the wax of boredom to drip all over the vanilla frosting of novelty and the shredded coconut of romance.' I could not have phrased it better myself."
"We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail."
"I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating."
"Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column."
"The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter."
"The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida."
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