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Jon Stewart

"President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader."

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"President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader."

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Akiroq Brost

"Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them."

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Akiroq Brost

"I keep forgetting I'm speaking in an American accent sometimes. The dangerous thing is that you end up forgetting what your real accent is after a while! It's really strange; I've never done a job in an American accent before."

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Akiroq Brost

"I have made more friends for American culture than the State Department. Certainly I have made fewer enemies, but that isn't very difficult."

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Akiroq Brost

"We went to see all the shows. American musical theater and jazz were very big."

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Akiroq Brost

"How far you can go without destroying from within what you are trying to defend from without?"

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Akiroq Brost

"So in our pride we ordered for breakfast an omelet, toast and coffee and what has just arrived is a tomato salad with onions, a dish of pickles, a big slice of watermelon and two bottles of cream soda."

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Akiroq Brost

"I wouldn't have made it past the first round of American Idol auditions. It was months before our first song was recorded. The guys were like, 'Just seeng!' And I was like, 'I don't know how to seeng! Can't I just play the triangle?'"

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Akiroq Brost

"Though race-related issues continue to occupy a significant portion of our political discussion, and though there remain many unresolved racial issues in this nation, we, average Americans, simply do not talk enough with each other about things racial."

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Akiroq Brost

"Regis has a great rapport with the American public."

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Akiroq Brost

"I prefer to remake flops. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels was a remake of a flop, and The Quiet American is a remake of a flop."

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Jon Stewart
"I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor."
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Jon Stewart
"Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You legalize marijuana, no need for quotas, because really, who's gonna wanna work?"
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Jon Stewart
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
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"I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days."
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Jon Stewart
"I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food."
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Jon Stewart
"Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain."
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Jon Stewart
"If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news."
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Jon Stewart
"Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid."
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Jon Stewart
"I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else."
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Jon Stewart
"There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!"
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