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W. C. Fields

"Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one."

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"Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one."

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Donna Grant

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"The faces of most American women over thirty are relief maps of petulant and bewildered unhappiness."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"You can find women who have never had an affair, but it is hard to find a woman who has had just one."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"The Cause of Women is generally the Cause of Virtue."

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Donna Grant

"What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce."

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Donna Grant

"Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths."

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Donna Grant

"I was never very interested in boys - and there were plenty of them - vying with one another to see how many famous women they would get into the hay."

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Donna Grant

"Every woman is just a different kind of problem."

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Donna Grant

"The three great problems of this century; the degradation of man in the proletariat, the subjection of women through hunger, the atrophy of the child by darkness."

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W. C. Fields
"The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart."

Living

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W. C. Fields
"Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil."

Actor

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W. C. Fields
"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."

Family

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W. C. Fields
"Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned."

May

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W. C. Fields
"If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon."

Life

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W. C. Fields
"Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?"

Death

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W. C. Fields
"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."

Food

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W. C. Fields
"Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one."

Woman

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W. C. Fields
"I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home."

Home

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W. C. Fields
"When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty."

Death

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