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"In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath."
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"Many men are contemptuous of riches; few can give them away."
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Personal Development
"Men exist for the sake of one another."
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Personal Development
"When men come to like a sea-life, they are not fit to live on land."
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Personal Development
"A man should be upright, not be kept upright."
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Personal Development
"There are certainly not so many men of large fortune in the world, as there are pretty women to deserve them."
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Personal Development
"In order that all men may be taught to speak the truth, it is necessary that all likewise should learn to hear it."
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Personal Development
"Let no such man be trusted."
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Personal Development
"I have found men to be more kind than I expected, and less just."
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Personal Development
"When a man is out of sight, it is not too long before he is out of mind."
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Personal Development
"We must conceive of this whole universe as one commonwealth of which both gods and men are members."
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"In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath."
Man
"Fish recognize a bad leader."
Leader
"Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me."
School
"Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen."
Dating
"Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob."
War
"In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have."
Cure
"President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards."
Baseball
"In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani."
Elections
"Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language."
Success
"President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003. Isn't that amazing? Yes, and get this, not only that, President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003."
President
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