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"All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law."
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"Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them."

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."

"Many men are contemptuous of riches; few can give them away."

"One man's ways may be as good as another's, but we all like our own best."
Explore more quotes by Andy Rooney

"The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account."

"I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran."

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."

"The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians."

"I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting."

"The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men."

"Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys."

"People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe."
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