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Christopher Moore

"Love: the sickest of Irony's sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die."

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"Love: the sickest of Irony's sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die."

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Amber Hurdle

"Smartass Disciple: Please teach me about the truth, master.Master of Stupidity: Hmmm...tell me about your sexperience!"

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Amber Hurdle

"If everything is possible, then it is also possible that something is impossible."

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Amber Hurdle

"I agree. I don't understand how a guy everyone is terrified of makes me feel safe. I don't understand how a guy who stayed behind to protect me when he didn't know me has been shot. I don't understand how a guy who carried me out of an alley full of shattered glass is the enemy everyone is warning me about."

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Amber Hurdle

"After all, these were blood drinkers, beings who spoke gently, liked poetry, and yet killed mortals all the time."

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Amber Hurdle

"And after all what is a lie? Tis but The truth in masquerade."

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Amber Hurdle

"You cannot identify an enemy without becoming one."

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Amber Hurdle

"I love mankind, he said, "but I find to my amazement that the more I love mankind as a whole, the less I love man in particular."

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Amber Hurdle

"What a paradox it is, the sane causes more problems than the insane! It is! The real problems of the world do not come from the insane but, the sane!"

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Amber Hurdle

"The paradox of anti-Semitism is that it is invariably up to the Jews to explain away the charges. The anti-Semite simply has to make them."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have a very dark sense of humor. I swear. I have a very playful relationship with Jesus."

Explore more quotes by Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore
"No matter where he went in the City, there was an odoriferous mix of food and vehicles, like the alchemic concoctions of some mad gourmet mechanic: Kung Pao Saab Turbo, Buick Skylark Carbonara, Sweet-and-Sour Metro Bus, Honda Bolognese with Burning Clutch Sauce."
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Christopher Moore
"The Painting is not shit,' said Lucien.'I know,' said Henri. 'That was just part of the subterfuge. I am of royal lineage; subterfuge is one of the many talents we carry in our blood, along with guile and hemophilia."
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Christopher Moore
"And I'll have you know that if you hurt my son again, if he so much as sighs sadly over his coffee, I will hire a man, a Russian, probably, to hunt you down and rip all that shiny black hair from your head, then break your skinny arms and legs, and set you on fire, and then put you out with a hammer. And should there be children from your beastly rutting, I shall have the Russian man cut them to tiny pieces and feed them to Madame Jacob's dog. because, although he may be only a worthless, simpleminded, libertine artist, Lucien is my favorite, and I will not have him hurt. Do you understand?"
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Christopher Moore
"But she's a redhead, so she's probably evil, even at her tender age.''I thought you liked redheads.''I do. What's your point?"
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Christopher Moore
"Mr. Asher, you can resist who you are for only so long. Finally, you just decide to go with fate."
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Christopher Moore
"It was the sound of a thousand hungry children crying, ten thousand widows tearing their hair over their husband's graves, a chorus of angels singing the last dirge on the day of God's death."
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Christopher Moore
"Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)' I thinks she's going to break my heart' On arrival of the girl' The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!"
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Christopher Moore
"My fans have great senses of humor and eat too much chocolate."
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Christopher Moore
"Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit."
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Christopher Moore
"Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism."
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